and cluttering writing. Open it carefully though, you wouldn't want my legacy to come tumbling down all over you. Then you'll have to pick all of it up off the floor and you'll be cursing me the whole time.

 

There's a whole civilisation of odds and ends here; journalism, short stories, critical essays, and excerpts from novels I'm working on, that you can read and scoff at. I think you should read it all, every syllable, so you can get a thorough idea of what it is you're scoffing at. Then implore your friends to read and scoff at it too. 

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If, for some reason, my writing takes your fancy and you think there should be more of it in the world (I agree) then you can get in touch with me below and we can talk ideas. Bring your chequebook along with the desire to write some very large number in there too.